Maybe I’m getting old.
I used to have all these complicated feelings about people.
But I’m finding it much harder to hold anything against anyone anymore.
Were all so fucking vulnerable, fragile, filled with feelings. Beautiful, complicated beasts.
Some of us just younger, not in years but lives. Struggling to figure the whole thing out.
I had a daughter, in my belly, almost 5 months. She didn’t make it. I failed her? She failed me? I saw her. I didn’t hold her. I don’t know why other than it wasn’t really her, right? Just a vessel, just a shell. They held her for me, dressed in a little outfit. Red, eyes still closed. Moved her little fingers. Tried to convince me I’d want a photo. I didn’t.
Now things that seemed so important… just aren’t. Social slights, assholes, the too cool crowd. Shit just isn’t the same anymore.
And maybe I’m better for it?
Love is the only thing that matters. It is. No more illusions of separateness.
"You’re on the path. You don’t need to know where it leads. Just follow."